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24 September 2013


Choose one and post a comment as homework!

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? mind. Back in five minutes.
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

1 comment:

  1. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Allow me to tell you a story. There was a boy that one day decided to drink alcohol. He had never drunk it before but he got out one night with his friends. They had their dinner at a local restaurant. It was the birthday of a friend of his. He is called Jim and he is the oldest of the group. During the meal, everyone was drinking soda except Jim that was drinking wine. When they came out of the restaurant the group went to a coffe shop and Jim started to drink alcohol again. This time it was a beer. On the disco anyone could see Jim. Why? That´s because he was on the floor, completly drunk! Tony and John (his friends) caught him up and took him home. At home he couldn´t stop drinking wine. He looked at the clock and it was 5 a.m. He fell asleep on the floor of the kitchen.
    He woke up at 2 p.m. with a horrible headache. He hab painkillers but they didn´t help. Jim was with an hangover! He ran to the toillet and threw up. The sensation was too bad. Why was he feeling so bad? Easy answer. All the wine got angry and Jim felt the wrath of the grapes! Poor Jim... grapes wanted their revenge.

    Roberto :)