TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE... =)

Choose one and post a comment as homework!

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? mind. Back in five minutes.
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Humanity is this...

Hello y'all... this is the task for those who want to fight for a higher grade: 

write a text commenting on this video, in which you express your feelings and opinions and show a bit of research on the subject of humanity, generosity and kindness ...

How much English do YOU know? Do the Cambridge University test!

http://www.cambridgeenglish.org/pt/test-your-english/for-schools/?page=survey&pagenum=1

Summer course!

Ok guys and galls...

I've prepared a plan for the summer. It's divided into sections, so you can do it all or parts. This is for that student who is NOT happy with his/her accomplishments at English this year and WANTS more!
OK, to have more, you have to give it that extra! Nothing comes cheap or easy in life and although Englsih IS easy, you in particular may have to work a bit more to reach that grade you want!

So, enjoy! ;)

Check out the signs!!!

My teacher's anger, by Vitor =)

All this because I have long canines? Sheesh, the things you notice! ;D

My English teacher has a lot of anger… When she gets angry, she shows big vampire teeth and the eyes of someone who is thirsty for blood.

I think she comes from the country of the witches.
But of course she has good things too, like for example… nothing ;)
Now, really, she is a good friend and a person that says everything in every situation and I like this. But like every human, she has bad things like... being grumpy!

My point was for them to guess the love story and write =) sheeesh... the imagination...

Once apon a time a man called John who was on a trip with his friends around the world, when he found the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.
They were walking through the streets of Paris when he decided to look to the right and sitting in the esplanade there was a blond, tall girl with beautiful green eyes, red lips and a georgeus smile.
At first John felt strange because he had seen a lot of girls, but noone was like her.

John decided to go round talk to her, but when he got to the esplanade she wasn't there anymore. So he decided to ask the people in the next table if they had seen her. They said that the girl had gone left, so he decided to go after her and after half an hour walking he decided to quit, but just when he was thinking about it, the gorl went right by his side. He gained courage and he decided to talk to her ... They talked for 15 minutes until she said that she had to leave. Hearing that, John decided to ask her out, but she said tahe she was a lesbian and already had a girlfriend ...